Putting hot sauce on everything.

Maybe because it's fall and football season is finally here, but I want hot sauce on every single food I eat. Ok that's excessive, I also want it with milk or something to calm my taste buds afterwards, but mostly, I just want hot sauce. Hot sauce on my eggs, hot sauce on my ham sandwich, hot sauce on my blueberries, hot sauce on my nectarines. Any kind of hot sauce will do. I recently went to a very expensive corporate conference and got the opportunity to stealthily take home a few teeny bottles of Tabasco sauce from their lunch (poor people for the win) which are now helping me create the most delicious lunches ever.

And until a few minutes ago, I though this was really great because it stimulates your metabolism. But a brief scan of the Internets led me to a smattering of forums and then this NY Times article, which affirms that the amount to which hot sauce stimulates your metabolism is sadly negligible. Screw 'em, I will eat it under the belief that it kick starts my tummy like I never performed said search and rely on idiotic SHAPE.com articles for all of my self-loathing nutrition habits.
Whatever. Smother it in that shit. But if you have a cat's tongue like me don't forget the soy milk. Water doesn't help the burn. (At least not quickly enough.)