Presents for Moms (well, my mom.)

• Sewing machine. Yes, this is self-serving, but it is also extremely practical as my mom's current sewing machine seems to provide many moments of agony and four-letter words.
• John Denver discography. While this has been hard to locate on the Internets, my mother loves John Denver and his music.
  
• Cooking classes to take with her. Not an insult; a fun opportunity. Now sounds more like an insult.